Living Together Before Marriage May Lead to Divorce

Trying before you buy is a capitalist concept that has taken hold in this country with fervor, but unfortunately, when it comes to relationships it does not work as well to reduce “buyer’s remorse.” In fact, a recent study showed that those who live together before getting married actually have a higher rate of divorce than those who wait to join households until after they’ve said I do.

The idea of living with a significant other before being married did not become popular in this country until the 70s, and even then only about a half million couples tried it. Now, more than 60 percent of couples live with their intended prior to the nuptials. While the idea of knowing each other that intimately might seem logically to lead one to a conclusion of happier, longer marriages, the opposite is actually true: almost twice as many married couples who lived together before marriage contemplated divorce.

In fact, couples who lived together prior to getting married were not as happy overall with their relationship. The study was conducted by researcher Scott Stanley from the University of Denver. Stanley speculates that the connection may be quite obvious: those who choose to live together before marriage may already be uncertain about the relationship, but once the couple has comingled assets, signed a common lease, mixed money into one bank account, or bought a pet together, they feel committed to move forward with the marriage regardless of their dissatisfaction with the relationship.

One group who rose above the increased risk of dissatisfaction was couples who had already become engaged prior to moving in together. Because they had already made the commitment to spend their life together, moving in together was a natural progression of the relationship and not a way to save money on rent. However, women who habitually live with their partners have nearly twice as high of divorce rates as those who marry the first man they live with.