Relationship Advice – Talking and Driving May Damage Relationships
Warning: Driving and using a cell phone may be dangerous–to your relationships.
We all know by now that chatting on a cell phone is a distraction that may impair your ability to drive. Yet, have you ever thought that driving is a distraction that can impair your ability to communicate?
This is the theory put forth by Paul Rosenblatt, a professor of family social science at the University of Minnesota, and his co-author Xiaohui Li, in an article in this month’s issue of the journal Family Science Review.
Distracted communication can put family relationships at jeopardy, especially when communicating over the phone without visual cues to assist. When one partner in a conversation pauses before answering, the partner on the other end is liable to interpret the pause as having meaning within the context of the conversation when the truth may be that the pause was caused by the distraction of driving.
“He didn’t answer right away when I asked him if he wanted to visit my parents-maybe he hates my mother even more than I thought” is an example of a misunderstanding that may occur when someone is calling their partner. The truth may simply be that the driver had to pause a moment while steering away from a bicyclist. Maybe he likes her mother just fine, but for the partner on the other end of the line, the doubt will linger.
Other ways that distracted talking can damage relationships can include the driver missing important information, blurting something out in a careless way because of feeling pressured, or either partner offending the other by cutting the conversation short due to safety concerns. As the reception fades in and out while the vehicle moves, frustrations about missed words and sentences or about the other partner’s failure to recognize the changes in reception can lead to a generally negative communication situation.
According to Rosenblatt, delivering good news, delivering bad news, arguing and apologizing can all carry greater risk if conducted on the phone while driving. While most relationships can handle the extra stress, more fragile relationships may crash and burn, even if the vehicle stays out of harm’s way.
Amelie Chance is a Certified Coach of Positive Psychology. Amelie helps people heal their broken hearts and cope with divorce at http://healmybrokenheart.com.